Laugh Out Loud With Nollywood
We have compiled these questions hoping someone in the Nollywood or NaijaScoopers (our readers) will be so kind as to supply the answers. These are things that we have noticed and wondered about in Nollywood so we have to ask now:
1. How can a ghost look left & right before crossing the road in a Nollywood movie? ‘Dem dey fear accident?
2. Why does the TV go off by itself after a ‘breaking news’ is read in a Nollywood movie?
3. Why do all native doctors paint one eye in a Nollywood movie?
4. Why must every Nollywood movie advert, start with a loud scream?
5. Why must every juju part be represented by lightening & thunder under a bright sunlight in a Nollywood movie?
6. Why do Nollywood movies always have part one to five?
7. How can Segun Arinze be Ramsey Noah’s dad in a Nollywood movie, Any resemblance?
8. Why will a blind mother in a Nollywood movie say, “I’m happy to see you my son”?
9. Why is Jim Iyke always coming back from America & speaking with a fake British accent?
10. Why is it that the characters die or run mad immediately after their confessions in a Nollywood movie?
11. A Nollywood Epic Village Movie Set in the 90s still finds Mercy Johnson with Brazilian hair, why????
12. How can N2bn fit into a small Ghana-Must-Go bag in a Nollywood movie?
13. Must all hired assassins be found in uncompleted or abandoned buildings in a Nollywood movie? ‘Na dem papa house?’
14. Why must a Nollywood film have Part 1,2, 3; Return of The Film 1,2 & 3; The Same Film ‘Reloaded’ 1,2 & 3? WHY!????
15. Will a Yoruba movie ever be complete without a visit to the ‘Babalawo’????
16. Study: 9 out of 10 times, Olu Jacobs dies of heart attack in Nollywood movies,why???
17. “15 years ago” & Ini Edo calls her Boyfriend with a Bold 5. How is this possible oh????
18. Why will parents in a Nollywood movie call their child 3 times nd ask him/her ‘how many time did I call you’? ‘Dem no sabi count’??
19. When poor people come to Lagos to struggle in a Nollywood flick, dey always make it, if na so why poor people still dey Lagos? Why?
20. Who translates Yoruba films witout studyin English e.g “My wife is a pregnancy & she go borned the pikin soonest”. Who does that??
Nollywood we hail oh! We know the best is still yet to come though! Keep the flag flying!